And so it begins. Perhaps it is ambitious and idealistic of me but I want to hope, that these daily entries will provide a meagre substitute for therapy. You see, much to my despair, my psychologist recently moved interstate. A pity. After months of vague scepticism I had to admit that I was slowly making progress. Regardless of my disposition, I was becoming more self aware, more objective and therefore, pro active and effective in my response. I hate to borrow this over-used phrase but I was becoming 'more mindful' as she often put it. And as a plus, well, I had grown rather fond of her and looked forward to the exquisite opportunity to be gifted with the trust and undivided attention of another, without being assaulted with a counter response for every disclosure.
Having a reliable therapist is rather a selfish indulgence, unlike friends there is no effort on your part to reciprocate or share a burden (you are there to unload). There is no guilt involved. When you're not talking about yourself you're listening to advice that will benefit only you and when you finally get over yourself, there is no shame, due largely to the fact that you are not being judged and if you are, she won't let on.
Unravelling myself is going to be a long, perhaps tedious process and also, I hope, an amusing one. Humour has been the only constant in my life - a necessity, to rival the pain and despair...after all, is that not simply life itself? Comedy and tragedy? I'm going to focus on happiness tomorrow, my interpretation and why it's become an unrealistic pursuit in modern society.
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